Sexual Terminology

The sexual terminology used when talking about sex may leave some wondering what is being discussed, and they may be to embarrassed to ask. This list of sexual acts, body parts, and sexual identities, etc. is a guide for holding an intimate conversation.

Sex is a very personal topic, so it is important to trust yourself and your partner to speak respectfully. Learning these terms and common slang usage will help you to be informed and have a happy sex life.

[ ] = Slang Term

Sexuality Terminology

A  

Abstinence — Choosing not having sex with anyone.

Aphrodisiac — Foods, scents, music, drinks, and behaviors, which can increase libido or promote the sexual desire or sensual arousal.

Anal sex — Sex in which the anus is penetrated or stimulated with a penis, finger or a sex toy.

Annalingus — [Rimming or Rim Job] Oral erotic stimulation of the anus.

Anorgasmia — Inability to have an orgasm or difficulty in having an orgasm.

Anus — Opening from the rectum [butt hole] from which solid waste [poop] leaves the body.

Aphrodisiac — Substance, food, or aroma that increases or triggers sexual desire.

Areola — Dark area surrounding the nipple.

Asexual — A person who does not experience sexual attraction (or very little).

B   

Bartholin glands — Two glands that provide lubrication (wetness) to the vagina during sexual excitement (arousal, being turned on). Located in the inner labia on each side of the opening to the vagina.

Bisexual — Sexually, romantic and/or physical attraction to both male and women

Body Image — Attitudes and feelings a person has about their own perceived body type and how other must see it.

Bondage — Physical restraint for sexual stimulation. Participants may use rope, chain, scarves, ties, pantyhose, leather straps, or other restraining devices.

BDSM — Umbrella term for Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS), Sadism {deriving pleasure from another’s pain} and Masochism {self-defeating or demeaning}  (SM).

Butt Plug — Sex toy that goes in the anus. It’s designed to stay in place with a broad middle and tapered to a flared base.

C   

Celibacy — Abstaining from sex.

Canoodle — Showing strong feelings of sexual attraction or love, or relating to sexual desire.

Cervical Cap — Cup shaped reusable barrier method birth control.

Cervix — is the lower part of the uterus in the female reproductive system.

Circumcision — Surgical procedure to remove the foreskin of the penis (circumcised).

Clitoral Hood — Flap of skin formed by the inner labia that covers and protects the clitoris.

Clitoris — [clit] Female sex organ including a bundle of nerve endings located at the top of the vulva and wraps around the vaginal opening. It has the sole function of expressing orgasms to the woman.

Climax — [cum] To reach sexual peak and orgasm (male ejaculation).

Coitus — [Fucking] Sex in which the penis enters the vagina. Also called “vaginal sex” or ”vaginal intercourse.”

Colposcope — A tool with a bright light and magnifying lens that’s used to look at the cervix for a colposcopy. Colposcopes aren’t inserted into the body.

Condom — [Rubber] Thin, stretchy tubes worn on the penis during sex. Mostly made from latex or plastics (like polyurethane and polyisoprene). Sometimes made from lambskin. Condoms are an over-the-counter barrier method of birth control that also provide some protection from STDs with one exception — lambskin condoms don’t protect against STDs.

Copulation — Vaginal sex, or sometimes sexual activity in general.

Crura — Internal extensions of the clitoris or penis that attaches to the pubic bone.

Cremaster reflex — The automatic response of the cremaster muscle, which elevates the testicles when exposed to cold or stimulation.

Cross-dresser — Typically a straight-identified, cisgender man — who sometimes wears clothing associated with the opposite gender.

Cunnilingus — [Eating Out, Going Down] Oral sex performed on a female clitoris, vagina and areas surrounding the vulva. Performed with the tongue, lips, teeth, nose and by sucking.

Cybersex — [Sexting] Sexual encounters that take place remotely; via phone (phone sex), online, using video cams, e-mail, or instant messaging.

Cyberstalk — To track and follow someone online and communications in a threatening way.

D   

Date rape — Forced sexual contact from someone the victim knows or is on a date. Also called “acquaintance rape.”

Dental dam — A thin, piece of latex provides limited protection against spread of STDs {STIs} when placed over the vulva or anus during oral sex.

Dildo — A penis-shaped (or stylized) sex toy used to stimulate the vagina, clitoris, or anus (may contain a vibration motor).

Dominance and Submission — Sexual behaviors, customs, and rituals where one person has control and the other surrenders submissively.

Douche — A spray of water, medication, or cleanser, which goes into the vagina.

Drag queen — A cross-dresser who exaggerates female dress and behaviors. Some drag queens might identify as transgender.

Drag king — A cross-dresser who exaggerates male behaviors and. Some drag kings might identify as transgender.

E   

Ejaculate — [Cum] the sperm and containing fluid that comes out of the penis during an orgasm. Also slang for to “have an orgasm” as in “here it comes”.

Ejaculation — The moment when semen spurts out of the opening of the urethra in the glans of the penis.

Ejaculation-Female — [Squirting] Female Ejaculation – The release of fluid out of the urethra during intense sexual excitement or orgasm. The fluid comes from the Skene’s glands, which are located from the vulva near the opening of the urethra. This happens in about 1 out of 10 women (flow varies, doesn’t actually squirt).

Ejaculatory inevitability — The moment during sex or masturbation when it becomes impossible to stop ejaculation. It happens when the prostate begins to contract and pulse out seminal fluid. Also called “point of no return”.

Endorphin — A hormone that keeps pain away.

Erectile dysfunction — The inability to get the penis hard.

Erectile dissatisfaction — The inability for the penis to perform at a satisfactory level.

Erection — [Hard on] Engorged erect penis.

Erogenous zones — Any area of the body that’s sensitive to sensual touch, or feels sexual. They are all over the body; some are just more sensitive than others and vary by individuals.

Erotic — Sensually stimulating to the senses and sexually arousing.

Erotica — Literature, art or other media that is meant to be sexually arousing.

Exhibitionists — People who expose their bodies in public places

F   

Fetish — A compulsion of sexual desire or gratification of an abnormal degree, linked to nonsexual material, object, action, or a part of the body; such as a foot.

Felatio — [Blow Job] Oral sex performed on a male penis.

Fisting — Putting several fingers or a hand into the vagina or anus of a sex partner.

Fondling — Touching someone in a sexual way.

Foreplay — Sensual starting of intimacy such as; kissing, rubbing, stroking, caressing, touching, fondling, etc., that is typically a precursor to further sexual activity. Foreplay prolongs enhances and increases sexual excitement and pleasure.

Foreskin / Prepuce — A tube of skin that covers and protects the glans (head) of the penis, and pulls back when the penis becomes erect. A circumcised penis has had the foreskin removed.

Frenulum — On the vulva, it’s the highly sensitive tissue where the inner labia join below the glans of the clitoris. On the penis, it’s the highly sensitive, triangular piece of skin just below the glans (head).

Frottage — [Dry humping] Body rubbing with clothes on for sensual stimulation and usually simulating intercourse.

G   

G-spot — (Gräfenburg spot) An area located on the inner front upper vagina wall connection to the clitoris. Location and sensitivity varies.

Gender — The biological sex determined art birth by the existence of male or female, visible reproductive organs, or confirmed with DNA testing.

 – Cisgender — Denoting or relating to a person whose self-identity conforms with the gender that corresponds to their biological sex.

 – Transgender — Someone who identifies as a gender other than what they were assigned at birth.

 – Transsexual — Person who is transitioning from one sex to another.

Genitals — External sex and reproductive organs, the female’s vulva, or the male’s penis and scrotum.

Glans — The rounded part forming the end of the penis ( glans penis ) or clitoris ( glans clitoridis).

Gonads — The organs that produce reproductive cells — the female ovaries and male testes.

H   

Hedonism — Pursuit of pleasure (in the sense of the satisfaction of desires) is the highest good and proper aim of human life.

Hermaphrodite — A person or animal having both male and female sex organs.

Herpes — A common STD caused by two different but similar viruses: herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1) and herpes simplex virus type 2 (HSV-2). Both kinds can make blistery sores show up on and around the genitals or mouth.

Heterosexual — Being attracted to people of the opposite gender.

Hot flashes / Hot flushes — A sudden, sometimes intense feeling of heat in the face or upper body that happens pre or during menopause.

Hymen — (Often referred to as the [cherry]) A membrane at the entrance to a woman’s vagina. This membrane can break or tear during first intercourse, using a tampon, while riding a bike or you can just be born without one.

I   

Impotence — Erectile dysfunction is the preferred term. A man’s inability to achieve or maintain an erection.

Incest — Sexual activity between members of the same family.

Incontinence — Being unable to control urination or bowel movements.

Infatuation — Intense, usually short-lived, emotional passion or attraction to another person, usually without having a mutual relationship.

Infidelity — Failing to keep a promise to be monogamous, usually in the context of a marriage.

Intercourse — Sexual activity in which the penis goes into the vagina (vaginal intercourse) or the anus (anal intercourse).

Intimacy — The closeness you feel when you share your private and personal self with someone else.

K    

Kinky — Unusual sexual behavior (perverse, abnormal, deviant, unconventional, unnatural, degenerate, depraved, perverted) that is outside cultural norms, or former teachings. Something society or culture says you shouldn’t do or talk about. Often past kinks become the norm of the future.

Kegel exercises — The tightening and releasing of the muscles that stop urination in order to prevent and improve urinary incontinence, improve sexual sensation, and aid vaginal muscle tone and tightness.

L   

Lesbian — A woman who’s sexually or romantically attracted to women.

Labia — [Lips] The labia of the vulva that surround the clitoris and the openings to the urethra and vagina. The inner lips are called “labia minora.”

Labia majora — The outer lips of the vulva.

Libido — The human sex drive or desire for sexual activity. Levels can vary based on many factors and points of life.

Love — A strong caring and attachment for someone else. It comes in many forms and levels. There can be love for romantic close friends, parents children, and pets.

Lube / Sexual lubricant — A water-based, silicone-based, oil-based product, or natural substance used to increase slipperiness and reduce friction during sex.

Lust— Sexual desire for someone, or visually stimulated.

M   

Male menopause /Andropause — The gradual decline in sexual vigor as men age, due to decreasing levels of testosterone. Some report the same symptoms that women experience.

Masturbate — [Jerk off] Touching and stimulating one’s own body and genitals for sexual pleasure. Mutual masturbation is when people masturbate in each other’s presence.

Ménage á trois — Three people in a sexual encounter. Also called a [threesome or threeway].

Menopause — A woman’s menstruation stops because of hormonal changes, usually between the ages of 45 and 55, but sometimes earlier.

Menstruation — The monthly flow of blood, fluid, and tissue out of the uterus that usually lasts from 3 to 7 days. Often called a period.

Monogamy — A committed relationship when two people decide intimate only with each other.

Mons veneris — The fleshy, triangular mound above the vulva or penis that’s covered with pubic hair in adults. It cushions the pubic bone.

Multiple orgasms — The occurrence of more than one orgasm within one sexual experience.

N   

Nocturnal orgasm — A sexual climax during sleep [Wet Dream].

O   

Open relationship / Polyamory — When 2 people in an intimate relationship or marriage agree that they can have other sexual or romantic partners.

Oral sex — Sex involving the mouth with the genitals or anus including cunnilingus, anilingus, and fellatio.

Orgasm — Sexual climax; characterized by strong feelings of pleasure and normally by ejaculation of semen by the male and by involuntary vaginal contractions in the female.

Orgy — Sex involving many random multiple partners.

Outercourse / Petting — Sexual activity that doesn’t include penetrative vaginal, oral or anal insertion activity.

P   

Pansexual — Sexual, romantic and/or physical attraction to people regardless of gender or sexual orientation.

Penis — [Cock, Dick] Male reproductive and sex organ. The penis’ spongy tissue engorges with blood during sexual excitement, a process known as erection (getting hard). The urinary tract is blocked during an erection. Urine and semen pass through the penis.

Performance anxiety — Fear of being unable to please a sex partner.

Perineum — [Taint] The area of skin between the genitals and the anus in both men and women.

Petting / Outercourse — [Dry Humping] Touching and caressing a partner’s breasts, butt or genitals in a sexual way (possibly through or under their clothing).

Phallic — Resembling or representing a phallus or erect penis.

Pheromones — Odors naturally given off to attract others sexually.

Phone sex— Sexually arousing phone conversation in which people describe sex with each other and fantasize while masturbating.

Piloerection— [Goosebumps] is involuntary erection or bristling of hairs and follicles due to a sympathetic reflex usually triggered by cold, shock, fright or sensory stimulation.

Plateau— The stage of sexual arousal in which a person’s sexual excitement peaks and may level out as approaching orgasm. The third stage of the sexual response cycle.

Platonic— Non-sexual relationship.

Polyamory / Polyamorous — Having separate sexual or romantic relationships with more than 1 person at a time with the consent of all people involved.

Pre-ejaculate — [Pre-Cum] Cowper’s glands produce pre-ejaculate [Pre-cum], a clear fluid that prepares the urethra for ejaculation. Pre-ejaculate also reduces friction in the urethra, making it easier for semen to pass through.

Pubic hair — Hair that grows around the sex organs.

Prostate — A gland that produces fluid which helps sperm move. The prostate can be very sensitive to the touch, and many people enjoy stimulation of the prostate for sexual pleasure.

Q   

Queef — The fluttering sound made when air is released from the vagina. Air is often pushed into the vagina during vaginal sex or repeated penetration with fingers, or sex toys.

Queer — Historically a derogatory term to identify LGBTQ people, but now used to represent people who identify with a sexual minority.

R   

Rectum— The final straight portion (less than 5”) of the large intestine, just prior to the anus.

Role-play — Acting out a sexual fantasy with a partner, usually with costumes, outfits, or uniforms, etc.

S   

Sadomasochism (S/M or S&M) — is the giving or receiving pleasure from acts involving the receipt or infliction of pain or humiliation.

Safer sex — Methods to reduce the risk of getting sexually transmitted infections, including HIV. A more precise term than “safe sex,” because no sex act or partner is completely safe from the possibility of passing a sexually transmitted infection.

Scrotum — A male’s sac of skin, divided into 2 parts, that holds the two testicles (testes) oval organs that produce sperm [referred to as the “Balls”].

Semen — [Cum] Fluid containing sperm that’s ejaculated from the penis during male orgasm. Semen is composed of fluid from the seminal vesicles (two small organs located beneath the bladder and connected to the urethra), fluid from the prostate, and sperm from the testes.

Sex drive — The urge and desire to have sex. Also called libido.

Sexting — Sending sexual text messages or images.

Sexual identity — How a person thinks of themselves in terms of who they find themselves sexually and romantically attracted.

Sexual response cycle — Four-stage physiological responses to sexual stimulation consisting of; Excitement, Plateau, Orgasm, Resolution.

Sexually transmitted infection (STI) —Formerly STD – Infections that are passed from one person to another during vaginal, anal, or oral sex, or sexual skin-to-skin contact, or fluid exchange. Commonly known as sexually transmitted disease.

Sexuality — A person’s self sexual identity, sexual preferences, and how it interact with emotional, physical, social, and spiritual life.

Shaft — Erectile tissue and nerves that’s shaped and hardened by stimulated engorgement, to form a column like formation the of the penis [Boner] and outer clitoris.

Sixty-nine / 69 — Sexual position of simultaneous, mutually performing oral sex.

Sodomy — Oral sex or anal intercourse. Commonly known as Anal Sex.

Speculum — A plastic or metal medical instrument used to separate the walls of the vagina for examination if the vagina and cervix.

Strap-on — A dildo that can be attached to a person (or strapless dildo, which both ends are inserted) to use for vaginal, anal, or oral sex.

Swinging — A lifestyle of non-monogamy where sexual relations occur outside the established couple relationship, which are typically only for the purpose of sex and not for a romantic relation.

T   

Taboo — A behavior that is outside cultural norms, or former teachings (perverse, abnormal, deviant, unconventional, unnatural, degenerate, depraved, perverted). Something society or culture says you shouldn’t do or talk about. Often past taboos become the norm of the future.

Tantric Sex — Tantra is now synonymous with “spiritual sex” or “sacred sexuality,” a belief that sex should be practiced as a sacred act capable of elevating its participants to a higher spiritual plane.

Testosterone — An androgen hormone produced in the male testes and in smaller amounts in the female ovaries. Generally associated with masculine characteristics.

Transvestite — [cross-dressing] Person who dresses as the binary opposite gender expression.

Tribadism — A sexual practice where two females rub their genitals together for pleasure.

V   

Vagina — Elastic muscular canal that extends from the outer vulva to the cervix. One place sexual penetration (by a penis, finger, sex toy, etc.) can happen.

Vibrator — An electrically powered sex toy that applies vibrations to parts of the body externally, or by penetration, or both, for sexual pleasure.

Voyeurism — Sexual stimulation practice that involves secretly watching another person in private moments; sleeping, undress, or engage in sexual behavior.

Vulva — The female external parts of the sex organs including the clitoris, labia (majora and minora) [Lips], opening to the vagina (introitus), opening to the urethra, and two Bartholin’s glands.

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Slang Sexual Terminology

{ }= Common/or Medical Term

[Blow Job] — {Fellatio} Oral sex performed on a male. [Deep Throat]

[Boner] — Slang for an erect penis [hard on].

[Blue Balls] — Slang for uncomfortable — but not dangerous (not a medical condition) — feeling in the penis/testicles that may occur (due to increased blood and gland pressure) after extreme stimulation without ejaculation.

[Brazilian] — Completely removing a woman’s pubic hair. To a lesser degree personal grooming, trimming, shaving or waxing of the pubic hair that grows around the sex organ.

[Bush] — {Pubic hair} — Hair that grows around the sex organs.

[Cock ring] — A ring or elastic band worn around the base of the penis, or at the base of the scrotum to enhance erection or prolong performance. Vibrating versions are used to increase stimulation of both partners.

[Cum] — {Ejaculate}; the sperm- and containing fluid that comes out of the penis during an orgasm. Also slang saying to “have an orgasm” as in “here it comes”.

[Cross-Dressing] — {Transvestite} Person who dresses the opposite gender expression.

[Dry Humping] — {Frottage} Rubbing with clothes on for sensual stimulation and usually simulating intercourse.

[Eating Out, Going Down]— {Cunnilingus} Oral sex performed on a female clitoris, vagina and areas surrounding the vulva. Performed with the tongue, lips, teeth, nose and by sucking.

[Guiche]  — {Perineum} [also see Taint] the skin area between the female’s vulva and anus, or the male’s scrotum and anus. May also refer to piercing that area with a metal ring meant to increase sexual pleasure.

[Hand job] — Using the hand to rub, massage and stimulate someone’s penis.

[Horny] — Wanting to have sex or for being sexually aroused.

[Manscaping] — Pubic personal grooming, trimming, shaving or waxing a man’s pubic hair that grows around the sex organ.

[Mooning] — Exposing [Flashing] one’s butt to other people.

[Morning wood] — Having an erect penis when waking up. Men can have can have several erections at night as part of their sleep cycle. Very often, when they wake up, they’re still erect. Also called {nocturnal penile tumescence}.

[One-night stand] — Having sex with someone right after meeting them and never seeing them again.

[Pearl necklace] — Ejaculate [cum] squirted onto a person’s neck or chest.

[Pitching a tent] — Having an erection in loose clothing or bedding. It comes from the way pants or bed sheets look when the penis is erect, like a tent pole, pushes them up and out.

[Pre-cum] — {Pre-ejaculate} Cowper’s glands produces a clear fluid that prepares the urethra for ejaculation. Pre-ejaculate also reduces friction in the urethra, making it easier for semen to pass through.

[Rimming or Rim Job] — {Annalingus} Oral erotic stimulation of the anus.

[Tea bagging] — Hanging the scrotum over partner’s mouth, while having the “balls” licked.

[Taint] — {Perineum} “Taint the genitals – Taint the anus”… the skin area between, on both men and women.

{Vagina, Vulva} — Slange terms: [Bits, Clam, Girlie parts, Honey pot, Kitty, Lips, Muff, Taco, Vag, Vajayjay, Vertical smile]
Not socially accepted: (bedroom names if mate approved): Camel toe, Cunt, Gash, Pussy, Rooster Comb (vulva outie), Snatch

[Wet dreams] — Erotic dreams that can lead to ejaculation or vaginal lubrication. Common during puberty.

Referenced:
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/glossary

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Sexual Terminology